


In my mind

by Dushka512



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, M/M, Memory Loss, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:35:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23235562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dushka512/pseuds/Dushka512
Summary: Beomgyu forgets everything but Soobin after an accident... but not remembering they broke up some time ago.
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 42





	In my mind

"He's waking up," soft-spoken words carrying hope in their tone. "Call the doctor, now!" _Too loud..._ "Sorry, sorry... just, please open your eyes".

He tries to follow the request but it hurts so much.

"I know it hurts, baby... just try to open them, please. The doctor is coming"

This person is soft next to him, he can feel the touch of his trembling hands near his face. Like a whisper.

He opens his eyes.

"There you are," there are a smile and a dimple. But before he can say anything the doors open abruptly and people on white coats run to his side.

The person is pushed aside and there are voices of people everywhere, questions come and go unanswered. But as time passes and as the drugs take effect he starts to remember. He was driving, he was driving and laughing at something he said. They were going somewhere, maybe a party or a meeting, maybe a dinner or to their home.

But then a cat or some small animal appeared from nowhere and... pain. Fear.

"Where- where is Binnie?" he asks, his heart beeping loudly among the noise of the doctors and nurses. But no one hears him.

"Yah! Where is- where-is-"

The next time he wakes he feels better, but there's no one with him this time.

He tries to order his memories. He had an accident. A car accident with Soobin, they were going somewhere and then they crashed. He needs to know where Binnie is. He-

A dimple.

He remembers a dimple the last time he woke up, a whispered baby; so Binnie must be fine, he's fine, and he should be here. Where is he?

"Hyung? Oh! You are awake!" he turns to see the boy that comes to his room. He doesn't remember him.

"... yes?"

"We were so worried, hyung" says the lanky boy, tall and with the fluffiest hair. He smiles unknowingly.

"Sorry," he says because he doesn't what else he can tell this person.

The boy sits next to him, his yellow hoodie blinding him.

"The others are not here because they went to call your parents. Your mom was so worried and stayed here every day. So your dad took her home. But they'll be here soon, hyung!"

He smiles again, happy to know there are people worried for him that care for his health... his parents. He blinks. His mom? His dad?

"Hyung?"

He can't remember the faces of his parents.

"Hyung you're scaring me, please breath, tell me what is wrong!" He's right, he needs to calm, he needs to breathe and calm down, he can't panic now; he needs answers.

"Where am I?"

"What?"

"Where am I?"

"The hospital, hyung..."

"I know that," he tries to not roll his eyes just because it's such a pain "but where?"

"Seoul? What do you mean by where? You're scaring me"

Seoul. Seoul? Is he from Seoul?

"Am I from Seoul?"

"What? Of course not! We are from Daegu remember?" says the kid with a big smile and a laugh... that doesn't make sense. "Me? From Daegu? Nothing?"

He's confused...

"Who are you?"

"Oh fuc-"

"Kai, language!" says another boy followed by a man and a woman.

"Hyung! You won't believe this!!"

"Oh, my baby," says the woman at the same time. She and the man come closer, both of them look pretty exhausted.

"Son, you gave us a fright"

He doesn't know what to say.

"What?" he hears the two boys whispering near the door "what do you mean?"

He feels awkward, he just wants Binnie. So he asks.

"Where's Soobin?"

The boys stop talking, his parents (he guesses they are) look at him confused.

"Baby?"

"Binnie? Where is he? He was with me. Is he ok?"

No one answers him. They just look at him so lost. And he's losing his patience.

"He's not here now," says the new boy serious.

"Where is he?" he asks again feeling defensive. Who is this guy?

"Do you know who I am?" asks the yellow boy.

He is tired of them not answering his questions.

"No, I don't. Can you tell me now where my boyfriend is?"

There's silence again. The tension is palpable. He doesn't like these people.

"Darling you-"

"Do you know who we are?" asks the man, this time. His voice sounds fill with fear and he doesn't want to tell them the truth. But the does.

"Sorry..."

The woman, his mother, stars crying. The man just looks pale and his eyes are watering. He doesn't want them here. He doesn't want to look at their sad faces when he's responsible for that.

"I'll call the doctor," says the blue-haired guy, running out of the room. The yellow hoodie one looks pained and pale. He's looking at him so sadly.

"I- I'll call Bin- Soobin hyung. I- Yeah, I'll do that. Excuse me" He smiles at the boy when he said that, but the boy just flew from there without looking at him.

The man and the woman keep on crying and he doesn't know what to say to make them stop. He's sorry and it hurts to see them like that, but he really can't remember them.

*

"What do you mean?" he asks. His name is Choi Beomgyu, and he's 22. He was in a car accident, but he wasn't with Soobin at that time apparently.

"You were alone. The tests confirm that you had drunk the night before. Not something serious, but you had a hangover and you were exhausted, it seems that you had insomnia these past days".

He frowns. He drank too much and couldn't sleep? What kind of person does that?

"And my memory?" He asks.

"It seems that you have amnesia, but is specifically targeted," says the doctor taking notes on his file. His parents are there, but the two guys are nowhere to be seen. "Maybe this person that you didn't forget was the last person you thought about... it's unknown. The brain works in mysterious ways. But there isn't structural damage so you will probably remember everything little by little" his parents look relieved, "or maybe not all your memories, it depends on what you want to remember and what you don't want to".

"What does that mean?" asks his father.

"It means that we need the help of Beomgyu, it looks that he wanted to forget something and he just did"

"He had his ways to get everything he wanted" whispers his mother jokingly but with nostalgia.

"We also need the help of his boyfriend, Soobin, right?" Beomgyu nods happily, he just wants to see him now.

The doctor smiles at him and tells him some other recommendations, but he's lost on the memory of his Binnie.

*

"What?" he asks Beomgyu's parents. "What?" he tries to ask the guys but they aren't looking at him. So he's alone in this.

"Please, he needs you. He still thinks you're his boyfriend and you're the only one he remembers" tells him Gyu's mom. And he loves Gyu's mom, she was always nice to him and gave him sweets whenever he went to visit her. But this is too much.

"I-"

"Please, son," says Gyu's father, he begs. And Soobin doesn't want to hear him like this, the strong man that is Gyu's dad asking with a breakable voice. This mam that called him "son" every time he visited and tried uselessly to teach him how to drive.

He looks at his friends, they looked pained too. He looks at Yeonjun for some strength but he just finds turmoil in his eyes even if his head nods in agreement. He looks at Taehyun, but the boy just looks away, tears on his eyes. He looks at Kai, and his heart breaks because he's not crying or looking upset or angry. He just looks blank and lost.

"But I- He broke up with me..." he says softly. Trying to make them understand his position. "We moved on... **_I_** moved on" he says to the parents of his ex, not looking at his boyfriend.

"We understand..." says his mom. But she doesn't sound like it.

"Please," says again his dad.

Soobin feels tears trying to escape. He feels hot and cold, he feels nervous and desperate.

But these nice and wonderful people are asking for his help, Beomgyu is one of his dear friends, even after the break up they tried really hard. It was obviously not the same. But they were getting better at pretending and when they found other people to care for it was really getting better. But then, the week before the accident they fought and-

"Just until he remembers" continues his mom, "when he remembers everything will be the same" smiles his mom, even when her eyes tell all lies and they all can hear them clearly.

He breaths deeply and nods.

Nods and he can hear broken hearts, one of them is his.

*

This time when the door opens he's sitting. His head is still bandaged, his leg is in a cast but he feels his heart flutter when the boy comes in.

"Binnie," he says with a smile and he lifts his bandaged hand to call him over. Soobin looks tired but so, so beautiful. He has a small smile in his face and reliefe on his eyes. He can tell that Soobin is a little unsure but doesn't know why maybe because of his wounds.

"Gyu... I- I'm happy you're better" Soobin says and he can feel energized just by the warmth of those words. The sincerity of Binnie and his big hand holding him, he's so warm; he missed this.

He uses the little force he has to make him sit next to him on the bed, "Gyu, I don't think-" "Shhh, just come", one hand still holding his and the other goes to his hair.

"When did you dye it?" he asks touching some strands of soft pink hair.

Binnie is silent and gulps audibly.

"Binnie?" he stops and slides his hand to Soobin's forehead and ends on his cheek. He loves him so much.

"Two months ago, we all decided to dye our hair, remember?" Binnie smiles, but Gyu knows all of Binnie's smiles and this one is forced. So Binnie doesn't like this memory, there must be something...

"Did I don't like it? Because if past me said something bad, he was wrong" he presses on those soft cheeks of his and smiles when he finds his lovely dimple "you are always beautiful and there's nothing on you that won't make me breathless, my Binnie"

Binnies gasps and there are tears on his eyes now.

"Gyu" he cries and falls to his chest. It hurts a little but he just bears with it, Binnie must have been so worried.

He hears the door open, he can see his parents and the boys from before from the corner of his eye but Soobin has all his attention.

"Hey, don't cry my sweet bunny. I'm fine now, I promise." Soobin cries harder and he frowns, looks at the people around him. He doesn't know them. His parents look sad but hopeful. But the boys, those guys standing there look... they look as if Soobin shouldn't be with him, and that makes him angry for some reason.

Those looks make him angry.

So he hugs his Binnie and kisses his head.

"I love you so much, please stay always with me"

The lasts of his words are lost when someone slams the door and a flower vase breaks on the floor. But that doesn't matter now. He has a ton of memories to make with his boyfriend, maybe he'll remember, maybe he won't, it really doesn't bother him, he just needs Binnie to feel secure and grounded, and he has him now.


End file.
